Monday, 10 September 2012

Selfish!


Sigh. I'm feeling really selfish right now. My partner's grandfather died two days ago, and he found out yesterday. Tomorrow he's going up to Auckland (1,075.3 km or 668.16 miles North) for about a week. I have to go to his mum's house to dogsit, and it's on the other side of town.

This sounds stupid but when he was at his mum's today, I woke up and I didn't want to get out of bed. I just felt really low. Ended up sleeping in til 5pm. Can't imagine what the next week will be like. I cried when he said he was leaving tomorrow and would be gone for a week. When he's not around and I don't know when I'll see him, my mood just drops and I get depressed and I get urges. I know this is unhealthy.

I can't even have friends around to distract me because nobody wants to walk twenty minutes uphill.

196 days clean. Six months and two weeks. If I break while I'm there I'm going to feel even more selfish, but I can't help but worry that I will.
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4 comments:

  1. dovahkiin11 September 2012 at 16:32

    I know you don't actually know me but I read your blog avidly, you could always talk to me if you need to. I can't say it's as good as coming over to comfort you but hey, I'll do anything I can <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rikki Pretender12 September 2012 at 00:56

      you read my blog avidly? :D I didn't know anyone read it avidly. *dances* well, if you want, you can add my fb or email me.

      Delete
    2. dovahkiin15 September 2012 at 00:13

      I do, I somehow came across it and I read through every new post :) what's the link to your Facebook?

      Delete
    3. Rikki Pretender15 September 2012 at 07:08

      http://facebook.com/rik.monster

      also he's coming home tomorrow :D

      Delete

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