Sigh

Today was fantastic. Got home, road cone slung over my shoulder, feeling good. Then, a friend contacted me RE our mutual friend with purging disorder (I really really don't want to name names in case they see this...), saying he was worried. I went into the Butterfly Project, which we are all a part of, and saw a post, which said:

Everyday I get the same shit thrown at me. I get called fat I get called emo and I get called an attention seeker. I cut because it is my escape from this world. I constantly lay awake at night crying and contemplating about suicide. No one understands what I am going through. I just want to leave this world and end this pain. I have been starving myself, cutting myself, I am turning red with the amount of cuts I have. I am finding it hard to not cry in public. I find it hard to gain the energy to get up and go to school. I need to get out of my life. I really do. Tonight is the last night I am going to cry myself to sleep. Tonight is the last time I breathe.

Now, this girl is sixteen, stands at somewhere between 4 foot 9 and 4 foot 11, and weighs 35kg (77.16lbs). Ideally, she should be around 92-124lbs. Big jump, I know, but this is based off her approximate height, and I don't know which one she is, I just know she's really short. Her BMI is between 15.6 to 16.7, she's dangerously underweight as it is, and she's started starving and purging. Now, I know I'm a chubby little pot calling the slender kettle black, BUT, my BMI is 23.1, at my estimated (I haven't weighed myself in nearly a year) weight of 136.68lbs.  My weight is probably higher than that but I won't know until I can get batteries for my new scale. Anyway. She's skinny as. And she honestly believes she's fat. I contacted her mum, who proved herself to be a real fucking ice queen. I don't know what's going on anymore, I just know she's alive for now, and that I may have to work a lot harder to ensure she stays that way, because her mum needs a heavy hand with this thing, she needs to be slapped in the face in order to understand that dismissing it is not the answer. Both times my friend has attempted previously, she had to be nearly dead or on the verge of attempting (having taken the pills and tied the noose, but not jumped or blacked out) before she took action. She checked on her because I nagged her. Stupid bitch.

And now, I'm staying up, again, talking complete randoms down. I hate my life.